Ambrose Bierce's "The Devil's Dictionary" - выборка - буква A

[Constanze]

Просто влюбилась в это гениальное гениалище, хочется с кем-то поделиться.

Abba, n. - a father who has made a vow not to be a husband

Abdication, n. - the surrender of a crown for a cowl, in order to compile the shin-bones and toe-nails of saints. The voluntary renunciation of that of which one has previously been deprived by force. The giving up of a throne for the purpose of enjoying the discomfiture of a successor. For these several definitions we are indebted to Spanish history.

Abdomen, n. - a shrine enclosing the object of man's sincerest devotion.

Abominable, adj. - the quality of another's opinions.

Aborigines, n. - persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.

Absurdity, n. - a statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

Ache, v. i. - to act like a tomb of a cucumber.

Acrobat, n. - a man who breaks his back to fill his belly.

Adamant, n. - a mineral frequently found beneath a corset. Soluble in solicitate of gold.

Adjutant, n. - in military affairs, a bustling officer of inferior rank, whose function it is to divert attention from the commander.

Adolescent, adj. - recovering from boyhood.

Age, n. - that period of life in which we compound for the vices that we still cherish by reviling those that we have no longer the enterprise to commit.

Agitator, n. - a statesman who shakes the fruit trees of his neighbors -- to dislodge the worms.

Air, n. - a nutritious substance supplied by a bountiful Providence for the fattening of the poor.

Alliance, n. - In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

Ambidextrous, adj. - able to pick a pocket with either hand.

Antagonist, n. - the miserable scoundrel who won't let us.

Aphorism, n. - predigested wisdom.
The flabby wine-skin of his brain
Yields to some pathologic strain,
And voids from its unstored abysm
The driblet of an aphorism.
"The Mad Philosopher," 1697

Architect, n. - one who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

Ass, n. - a public singer with a good voice but no ear. In Virginia City, Nevada, he is called the Washoe Canary, in Dakota, the Senator, and everywhere the Donkey. The animal is widely and variously celebrated in the literature, art and religion of every age and country; no other so engages and fires the human imagination as this noble vertebrate. Indeed, it is doubted by some (Ramasilus, lib. II., De Clem., and C. Stantatus, De Temperamente) if it is not a god; and as such we know it was worshiped by the Etruscans, and, if we may believe Macrobious, by the Cupasians also. Of the only two animals admitted into the Mahometan Paradise along with the souls of men, the ass that carried Balaam is one, the dog of the Seven Sleepers the other. This is no small distinction. From what has been written about this beast might be compiled a library of great splendor and magnitude, rivalling that of the Shakespearean cult, and that which clusters about the Bible. It may be said, generally, that all literature is more or less Asinine.
"Hail, holy Ass!" the quiring angels sing;
"Priest of Unreason, and of Discords King!"
Great co-Creator, let Thy glory shine:
God made all else, the Mule, the Mule is thine!"
G.J.

Astrology, n. - the science of making the dupe see stars. Astrology is by some held in high respect as the precursor of astronomy. Similarly, the night-howling tomcat has a just claim to reverential consideration as precursor to the hurtling bootjack.

@музыка: Maxïmo Park - The Unshockable

@темы: Хочу поделиться прочитанным, Это вещь!, Флуд, Пятиминутка веселья

Comments

Antagonist, n. - the miserable scoundrel who won't let us.

О, да, д'Артаньян и антагонисты,

Aborigines, n. - persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.

бользаг одобряэ
спасибо за "разделение", сие чудесно!

[Constanze]

Roy-Corduroy

А это я еще букву Бэ не дочитала)))

[Simeona]

Забавно)) Спасибо!

[Птица-зарница]

Ахахах))
Скажите, а Вы перепечатывали, или у Вас в электронном виде есть?)

[Александра Спонтанная]

Есть и в переводе.
Очень достойном.

[Птица-зарница]

Александра Спонтанная, в печатной форме?

[Constanze]

Леди Хедервари часть перепечатывала (у меня просто расширенный вариант), а часть нашла в интернете

Александра Спонтанная ну, I just do bloody love english

[Птица-зарница]

ох) надо поискать))